“Don’t Wave That Around!” Etat Libre D’Orange Secretions Magnifiques


 Long Version

I had heard controversial snippets about ELDO Secretions Magnifiques and had been dying to try it. Obligingly, my Guardian Angel of Perfume popped up with the very thing, as if cosmic ordering really works.  (Hi Lisa!)

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURESWhat followed was unpleasant.  Not the company of course, nor the nice china or the Cadbury Chocolate Fingers. (Do you know, it’s impossible to write about Secretions Magnifiques without sounding laden with double entendres, but I shall try).

I proceeded with caution, and not having any blotting paper,  I had to use a tissue (there I go again).  Eschewing skin, I dabbed Secretions Magnifiques on the tissue and had a sniff.  Hmm.  Not bad.  Citrussy even.  And then it began to um… what’s the opposite of “grow on me?” Repel.  Yes, it repelled me.  I sniffed again, and I kid you not, Lisa said I actually whimpered.  She remained unfazed.  If you know her in real life, this will not surprise you.  In all things fragrance, she is one tough bird.  She smelled Womanity and didn’t even flinch (“Hmm. Figgy”).

We left Secretions Magnifiques for a few moments and waded pleasantly though endless interesting samples before giving it another go.  If this was a film, it would end with a scene which involves me shouting “Don’t wave it around!”, close up on my horrified face, then freeze frame and cue credits.

Short Version

Secretions Magnifiques smells like the bedroom of a teenage boy after his parents have been away for the weekend. The sample we tried remains, rather aptly, on a tissue.




7 thoughts on ““Don’t Wave That Around!” Etat Libre D’Orange Secretions Magnifiques”

  1. I am still laughing at the memory of the look on your face. Honestly, you really did whimper. And back away a little.
    I just found it burned the inside of my nose a little and smelled of tangerines.
    But I am beginning to suspect that I am anosmic to some musks, which would explain a lot.
    A real lot.

    1. I was all blustery before I smelled but by the time I went for a second sniff just to be sure, I was a little bit more apprehensive!

  2. Though I have no intention of ever trying it, I love reading about people’s reactions to Secretions Magnifiques, especially the horrified ones. If you haven’t seen it, check out Katie Puckrick’s video review — I think you’ll recognize the facial expression.
    Thanks for taking one for the team.

    1. Hi Lindaloo, sorry it’s taken me so long to reply. Your input is highly appreciated! Yes, if only we’d videoed it! The hoots of laughter could be heard in the next street. I shall check out Katie Puckrick’s video. I wish she was back on telly again.

      best wishes

  3. Lindaloo, hooting with laughter at ‘taking one for the team’ – she really did! Her face was a picture when the fragrance opened up and she was horrified by it. Still not as massive a reaction as to Womanity though. That was her biggest ever ‘Bleurch!’ and I was privileged to see it happen. 🙂

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