I had heard controversial snippets about ELDO Secretions Magnifiques and had been dying to try it. Obligingly, my Guardian Angel of Perfume popped up with the very thing, as if cosmic ordering really works. (Hi Lisa!)
What followed was unpleasant. Not the company of course, nor the nice china or the Cadbury Chocolate Fingers. (Do you know, it’s impossible to write about Secretions Magnifiques without sounding laden with double entendres, but I shall try).
I proceeded with caution, and not having any blotting paper, I had to use a tissue (there I go again). Eschewing skin, I dabbed Secretions Magnifiques on the tissue and had a sniff. Hmm. Not bad. Citrussy even. And then it began to um… what’s the opposite of “grow on me?” Repel. Yes, it repelled me. I sniffed again, and I kid you not, Lisa said I actually whimpered. She remained unfazed. If you know her in real life, this will not surprise you. In all things fragrance, she is one tough bird. She smelled Womanity and didn’t even flinch (“Hmm. Figgy”).
We left Secretions Magnifiques for a few moments and waded pleasantly though endless interesting samples before giving it another go. If this was a film, it would end with a scene which involves me shouting “Don’t wave it around!”, close up on my horrified face, then freeze frame and cue credits.
Secretions Magnifiques smells like the bedroom of a teenage boy after his parents have been away for the weekend. The sample we tried remains, rather aptly, on a tissue.