Guess Seductive: Vanilla, We Are O.V.A.H


 Guess Seductive smells so generically of the recent fad for vanilla florals that it is almost as if someone invented one scent that summed up all the others as an example of its time.  Imagine a perfume museum of the future. Visitors want to smell what was all the rage between around 2007 and 2013. “Smell this” says the curator of the Perfume Museum Of My Dreams “it’s like a mixture of all that was bad back then, whisked together into one bottle. If you smell this, you won’t need to smell the others”

 Guess Seductive opens with fruit: namely Pear, Blackcurrant and allegedly Bergamot (there was NO Bergamot and I can always seek it out). Pear can work on its own, in moderation. Blackcurrant can be pleasantly sharp and clean.  Mix them together and you have overly sweet Pear and Blackcurrant cordial: undiluted and sticky.  If you look up, all will go dark as the giant Vanilla Bulldozer wipes out the light from the sun and renders you unable to smell anything but sticky fruit and tooth achingly sweet synthetic Vanilla.  We are talking cheap Vanilla essence from the home baking aisle, not the seeds from a good vanilla pod that can occasionally be used for the good (sparingly. SPARINGLY!).

Whilst your nose begs for mercy, the cheap fake white flowers come out in all their plastic glory, like a tawdry, gold digging bride.

At just under £15 for 30ml, this is money badly spent. I hope I have saved you the trouble. I am so glad I tried before I buyed. (NB I know that’s bad grammar, but it rhymes).


2 thoughts on “Guess Seductive: Vanilla, We Are O.V.A.H”

    1. Totally agree! for £15 you could get a bottle of L’Aimant, and still have change for 2 M and S handbag sprays for a fiver each. Or a bottle of Noa or LouLou for £15 each, or a nice Musk.

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